I used to write a lot and travel a lot. There were so many people that told me I should be writing. I never thought my writing was any good. Besides my attention span could only last a blog post.
But when I read that blog post, all these years later, it was good. Way better than my memory of how I wrote. And then a sadness developed over me and it has been lingering for some while. It is more a mourning really, for my creative self, for my inspired self, for my free self, for my adventuresome self, for my youth.
Life goes faster when you stay put. I've been telling myself all these projects and things will happen and before I know it, another year has gone by. I want to be a million people. I want to be the artist in the shack, I want to be the world travel photographer, I want to own my own wine business, I want to educate, I want to be happily married and content in a sweet little home with community abounding, I want to be exactly who I am, I want to go and stay put all at the same time.
Life has a funny way of working out. I live at work and I am grateful for my home, my commute, to live on a gorgeous farm but there is something about me accomplishing anything other than my day job when I am at home. For me, creativity needs a change of view. And by the grace of Jah, I was asked to house sit in Stinson Beach.
So here I sit, in a little one room cabin built in the 50's. It's almost all window, so you feel as if you are on a boat on the pacific ocean–that is the view that fills the windows. I arrived and I was so wound up from life's small stuff that gets you wound but as the ocean sounds engulf this little coastal shack, my pulse starts to slow. I look in the old ship mirror and I see my matured reflection and I see she's in there somewhere, that dreamer, that writer, the adventurer, that young girl so filled with passion for learning and experience that she can't sit still. The beauty about being nomadic was that you didn't sweat the small stuff. You're perspective changed so often, that you were always forced to look at life through fresh eyes.
So, that's what I shall do these next few days, look out these windows with fresh eyes and start greasing those creativity cogs in my brain.
