I went down a rabbit hole the other day. C posted a new post on the meadery's instagram, so I looked at the feed. There were some photos missing, some that weren't mine but the feed was mostly painted with my images, the way I see the world. It's only been 18 days since I stepped away but 18 days has given me enough distance to see it more as an outsider; that feed is really good and those images captured a dream. I felt a sense of pride in myself, I created something, on many levels.
I had envisioned a proper goodbye with hugs and flutes chin-chinning away. Gratitude expressed. The reality of the last day was, it was the last day of the year, the last day of 5 years of devotion and I was alone. I polished the last glass in the cold barn, I put the money away, turned off the lights and pulled the heavy barn door shut for the last time. I drove the quiet and windy marin roads peacefully on my way home to celebrate the New Year having a quiet evening in my new home. I thought I'd cry but I cried the day before about a parking spot (if you know, you know).
West Marin is a dream, being outside everyday surrounded by flowers was a dream but all good things come to an end. I come into my house with it's hard wood floors and full of light and feel so happy to be at home. To buy Turkish rugs and hang my photo art is now the dream. I walk two minutes and I am at a wine bar run my a sweet French girl whose family is one of the few biodynamically farmed Champagne producers. I walk to the market, the antique store, the coffee shop. I am instantly on the 101 and in the city with friends. I no longer have to worry about hitting a deer when I am driving back from dinner.
My new job is a perfect fit in so many ways. I fell in love with French wines when I stole a Bordeaux from my parents cellar when I was 16 and I have been perhaps been chasing that feeling I had when I first discovered a true love years ago. It was scholarships to wine making school, harvest in Napa, walking through wine country in Spain, living in France, working as the only American at a high end French restaurant and Eric from the Loire teaching me EVERYTHING about French wine. And now I get to work with some of the most knowledgable people, importing great wines and I get to be a part of telling their story.
I get to create a new feed and I couldn't be happier.