The Road is Life

chicago photos & school life

2012-01-28T09:59:00.000-06:00

State Street. Chicago.

Have you noticed that occasionally I watermark my photos? I hate to do it. It ruins the whole aesthetic of the photo but I have begun to dabble in the world of stock photography and while I never imagined selling my photos to big advertising companies, the income is needed. So, there might be some water marks.

This winter has been awesome for me. It's been Spring like nearly everyday but I hardly notice because I'm working my butt off at Chicago Portfolio School.

I was in a debate on whether I should go to Portfolio School in Atlanta for photography or here for web design. I choose tech, because I thought it would be a more secure job market but as I am in the world it appears to be just as insecure as photography. Sometimes I wonder, if I should have followed my heart.

Don't get me wrong, I like building websites. And I think technology is rad. I look at sites the way most of my classmates look at magazines and dissect print ads. I can spend hours discovering cool websites. I know, I'm a dork.

I remember while I was investigating portfolio schools and meeting the students and teachers, thinking that these schools "make you good." I remember thinking that I had a good "eye" and I was always confused when I read the blogs of current students talking abut how much they suck. As an outsider, I thought "no way, you guys are so good."

But, now, I understand. You get in this world and see that you know nothing. You spend hours working on a project, hang it on the wall and compared to everyone else's, it sucks and then you get to hear from your classmates and teachers why it sucks.

It's good, though. I mean, I was looking at something I laid out before school started which I thought was kind of cute. But, seriously I was using horrible typefaces, the layout would make you cringe.

Or who would have thought that your resume needed to be well designed. I mean, now, it seems obvious but it had been something I never thought of. Looking at all our old resumes (my classmates and I), it's humorous how horrible they look. I will never be able to look at a resume in the same light.

So, what I'm saying is, sometimes, you gotta suck before you are good.

winter white

2012-01-22T14:59:00.000-06:00

When I was young, my favorite thing to do in the winter was to go to Lake Michigan.

I lived three blocks from the water, so it was a simple jaunt. The wind howls and cuts your face with much more intensity down at the lake, which is great because it means that this piece of land that's flooded with people in the summer, is completely empty in the winter. I have the whole place to myself!

JP, one of my favorite guy friends from high school days, made me get out of the house before 9 AM this Sunday morning for brunch. So, I was home and caffeinated by 10. I could not sit still, so I powered to the lake!

Heaven. Pure heaven. The vastness, the minimalist color tones, the simplicity was enough to have me flood the Instgram feed and practically get frost bite on my fingers. The lake looked like Alaska with chunks of frosted ice bobbing in water.

I felt like a kid, skipping through the snow. Oh, how I love to me outside!

What are you up to this Sunday??

xx

2012-01-21T12:45:00.000-06:00

I always swore that if I ever got to work from home, the first thing I would do in the morning is get dressed for the day. To create a sort of motivation for the day, to have a standard and to not be a sloth.

Well, afternoon tea time rolls around and I still find myself in my "cozy pants," as my nephew would say. My hair in a raggedy side bun, falling off my head and slippers on my feet. Oh my god, I'm wearing slippers all day.

I guess it could be a point of envy for many. But, I feel sorta guilty. Though, on these PJ days, I don't step foot out the door. Just think about all those hours and minutes to accomplish work! Or that I'm becoming quite the bore. I'm ready to go walk across a country or chop wood or something. Maybe in my cozy pants...

chicago, travel, photos and links

2012-01-17T08:17:00.000-06:00

It snowed and then it got sunny! It's really not so bad when the sun comes out. But, I tell you, what makes all the difference in the world is that my apartment is so bright with all of it's south facing windows that I do not even notice when it's a gloomy day.

I'm thinking of Spring break plans. I must travel or I think I will disintegrate. I want to disappear into the mountains with a backpack and a tent but I also have pulls to sunny Florida, to see many best of best friends in Seattle, visit my winemaker partner in crime in California or go to Colorado (where mountains AND sunshine abound).

Here's a couple of cool web sites I came across yesterday:

Have you heard of Vivian Maier? She was a nanny in NYC and Chicago who started taking photos in the 50s. She never showed her pictures to anyone and then one day some one found her photos in a box after she had passed away. Stunning photos. It just goes to show how sometimes you do things that you love with no idea of the impact it will have on others.

And second, for web geeks this site really cool: check it out.

Downtown Snow!

2012-01-15T14:16:00.002-06:00

So, it snowed a lot one night last week.

It's really not that bad. I kind of like how it mutes the city. But, Chicagoans are warriors, the snow doesn't stop them from going full speed ahead.

In other small towns I have lived in, you get to stay home for days when it snows—oh but not here. We like to suck it up here. Nothing a little midwest hard work ethic can't handle!

I have been having discussions about what "good" photography is. It seems in the days of HDR and super lenses and photoshop there is a new level of quality.

My opinion is that it kinda looks cool. It definitely looks high quality but I'm a fan of photographs that look real, like you could just jump in them and be right there. Like this guy's work, I really enjoy the homeyness and comfort of his photos.

What do think? What kind of photographs do you like to look at?

my world

2012-01-12T16:04:00.001-06:00

Making a little instagram grid with pictures with the color red in them is my "break" from homework.

I am now understanding what portfolio students mean by the insanity of portfolio school. At this moment, it seems impossible to do what I need to do this week: start building two webs sites, hand draw 60 logos, make two typographic posters, design a UI tool kit and wire frame a site and a handful of other stuff too hard to explain. Which makes me wonder, is it the sheer volume of stuff that makes you good?

I feel like I don't have enough time to perfect my work because I just have too much of it to get done in a week and there's nothing worse than hanging your stuff up for a critique and realizing you could have done so much better.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say being creative is a lot harder than being a scientist. There's no solid answer or solution. There's thinking, ideas, research, re-doing things, there's creating something out of nothing and then throw a whole bunch of code on top of that and there are no bouts of sleepness nights for your brian is utterly exhausted by the end of the day.

In other news, it's snowing and I am happy to have no classes today and to sit in my bright apartment and draw logos as I watch the world outside my window turn white.

xx

"At times I contemplate movin to a warmer place, then the lake and skyline, give me a warm embrace"—Common

2012-01-10T15:29:00.000-06:00

It takes less than thirty minutes to walk to the lake from where I live. One straight line down to the harbor we used to sail to when I was a kid.

This skyline is my past, my youth, a visual reminder of the adventures I had in this city growing up.

It really is a tough city. You grow up with the fear that you will get jumped or robbed but it was normal because that's all you knew. I can't tell you how many little towns I have lived since where the locals have made fun of me for making sure all doors are locked at all times.

Here in this city, you see struggle everywhere you go on the streets. You hear of crime constantly. The wind blows harsh. The people curse and drink and eat like crap. If one can endure this city, he can endure just about anything.

And then, we have the lake which was always my haven growing up. If you look straight at it, that's all you see. A plane of vastness. The yin to the cities yang. Balance. Peace.

spring time in winter in Chicago

2012-01-07T09:36:00.000-06:00

It was 55ºF yesterday.

I got out of class and headed down State street to the art store.

The whole city was magical. People were out and about strolling. State street had the craziness of Bangkok with characters and contradiction everywhere—a Chinese couple plays traditional Chinese music with an accordion and pipa, blind tourists with dSLRs, and homeless people straight up napping in the middle of the street.

I normally rush to get out of the hustle and bustle and home to my peaceful little nest but last night felt like spring time in Paris. If you've been, you know what I mean. Peoples happiness seduces you and makes you enjoy the art of strolling and soaking up the atmosphere.

Without my camera, I only had Instagram to capture this odd January night in Chicago. So, I posted more snow pictures for those that are upset at the unusual warmth. All you have to do is drive 7 hours north as Butternut, Wisconsin guarantees snow. Seriously.

And you, are you experiencing abnormal weather as well?

good stuff

2012-01-05T09:57:00.001-06:00

This place renewed me. I swear, when your feeling any discontent, go to nature and you will find peace of mind again.

I'm super excited for this quarter. All of my teachers at Portfolio School are very, very enthusiastic and being the empathetic soul that I am, that enthusiasm is like a shot to the viens.

I did, however, maybe, we will see...take on too many classes.

There is so much work constructing stuff and doing art projects that I fear I will have little time to focus on coding (which is the #1 reason I am at school).

But, who ever said the path had to be one direct line? Deviation is good, that's where you often find what you are good at and where your passions lay.

Web Stuff

Do you have an iPhone? It's time you got on Instagram. It's like a visual Twitter. I love seeing the world through my friends eyes, like my cousins in Istanbul or friends I used to live with in Seattle. You can follow me at laceybediz.

If you don't have an iPhone, you can still sorta join in the fun by following people on Instagrid, here's my stream.

And speaking of Twitter, it's awesome and I don't know if any of you follow Kanye West (I think he's great & it may be trendy not to like him but listen what he produces. Also, you gotta love that he pushes and tries and never gives up). Anyhow, last night he went on a Twitter rampage tweeting for an hour about being creative. Go check it out.

Lastly, in Typography last night I found out about this site with photos of Chicago Type, pretty cool!

What projects do you have going for the New Year?

I apologize in advance if I don't reply to your e-mails and such just know that I'm so happy to hear from you and I am buried in the work. xx

Butternut, Wisconsin

2012-01-01T20:30:00.000-06:00

Preparing to Road Trip

There were big plans to go down south to sun shiny Florida for this holiday break. Even before that, I played with the idea of going to France for two weeks but when it came down to it, I had been so busy with school that I let it all go.

Dani did mention she didn’t want to be in Chicago for New Years and I have been really interested small travel, I mean, exploring the midwest which I had never done in my eighteen years in Chicago. The only way we left the city was by plane. Well, okay, there were numerous road trips to Colorado but only Colorado.

It wasn’t until I was in college in Bellingham, WA that I learned the art of small travel. We would drive to Vancouver, to the Orcas Islands, to the Cascades, to the deserts of Eastern Washington, the Olympic Peninsula's gorgeous rainforest, to the top of Mt. Baker’s peaks, to Seattle, Portland, the Oregon coast and to Idaho, Calgary and Montana!

I was inspired after taking a trip way up north in Michigan this past Labor Day. I had never known Michigan to be gorgeous, quaint and rustic.

Being in the city and in a program that’s very computer heavy, I knew I wanted to disappear and run back into the arms of my beloved nature. I wanted to go to the middle of nowhere. I wanted to go where there were no tvs and no internet signal.

I love Facebook as a tool, a community bulletin board of sorts. I posed the question to my 400 friends, “Does anyone know a rustic place to stay in Wisconsin or Michigan?”

Tons of people told me to couch surf. This is not what I had in mind. Mind you, I have practically been couch surfing for nine years. I didn’t want to be a guest. People think I’m nuts when I say I am tired of being polite and would rather spend some cash to not have to be.

To let someone in to your home is a grand sacrifice. They change your rhythm, eat your food, mess up the place so as a guest it is your responsibility to make everything easy and seamless. You must clean up, do chores, help them out, make your bed and while I do this all in a very strict regime in my own home (conditioned by years of being a guest) I want to feel like I don’t have to make my bed if I don’t want to. Totally nuts, I know, but you try being a guest for nine years.

So, a guy I went to middle school with whom I haven’t seen since we were probably ten suggested a lodge 7 hours north of Chicago. I was planning on 3 to 4 hours but something about going so far away to the northern most point in Wisconsin called to me and Danielle and I have had tons of crazy adventures since we were kids, so I knew she’d be down.

On the Road

I was not bored or restless, tired or hungry, one single minute of the drive. I have been happy to have settled down into my little home for sure. But the road will always be my first love. Travel runs deep in my blood, we are gypsies and before that we were nomads descending from the wide open plains of Mongolia. To travel is purely instinct. Staying put is like putting a migratory bird in a cage, it defies the law of nature.

I know, I know I have convinced myself and you that I’m done and content but once the road was rolling under my feet again, once I saw my landscape change and the land go from gray to white, the images on the road side go from buildings to black bears and hawks perched on high up branches, I knew that I can not deny that which is who I am.

Arrival

It gets dark fast this far up north. We were sure we were close. We took the freeway until it ended, we drove a small one lane road for quite sometime and came to our turnoff which was a long snow covered road. I couldn’t see a thing and haven’t driven in snow in years. We passed tiny pubs filled with snowmobiles in the parking lot and husky men in Carharts standing outside staring at us, Illinois plates and driving at a snails pace.

We finally arrived to a dark, snow covered lodge and fumbled to open the lock box in the dark, wondering if in fact we’d get in.

I love going to a place with nothing. There is nothing to do but watch the fire, slow down and read that book you’ve been trying to read for the last 6 months. At home, I feel guilty if I am not trying to better myself at Adobe’s Creative Suite or reading a book on javascript or something school related but here, I am free to do nothing, to wander through the woods following animal tracks, to finish that novel.

I didn’t realize we were right on a lake until the morning. It’s magnificent. We walked through the woods and out onto the lake where men were ice fishing, families were riding snow mobiles and the snow was all a glitter in the bright sunlight.

“I’m so happy!” I declared to Dani. This is all I ever wanted, a cabin in the woods.

At 17ºF, I was surprised at the warmth I felt and while I could have been in Florida, walking around barefoot and barely clothed, I was beside myself with joy. My love for winter has been rekindled. It is so magical, so quiet and so pure.

Danielle was sure we were going to see the Aurora Borealis at night, we repeatedly suited up and went to look at the night sky. While there were no undulations in the sky, the stars were breath taking.

Seeing billions of twinkling lights reminds one that you are alive. That was one of my loves for Limousin, the stars were always there to remind you that you were here on a planet with many others creatures and people, that somewhere far away, someone was looking at the same sky.

Yes, I started singing, “Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moon light, someones thinking of me and loving me tonight!” Danielle joined in too and there the two of us where in the dark cold night, bundled and singing into the vast openness.

Our days were filled with drinking tea by the fire and taking incredibly long walks through the forests and on the frozen lake, talking about things two childhood friends in their 30's talk about.

New Year's eve, we cooked wild mushrooms and pork and had a spot of wine. D has a tradition of texting all in her contact list a Happy New Year note, which inspired me to do the same, and that's as social as the evening got though we had threatened to go to the bar and get drunk with those hardy folk we'd seen on the ice!

We spent the rest of the evening watching the snow come down and at midnight, echoes of fog horns and cheers could be heard bouncing off the lake.

It was so lovely. I did not want to leave our winter wonderland but back to the city and to crazy busy quarter I go. But, knowing the midwest is full of small town gems and natural surroundings, I am renewed with a new desire to explore.

Happy New Year, my friends. I hope this year is filled with love and compassion, forgiveness and open hearts and slow reflection. xoxoxoxo

Kinfolk Magazine

2011-12-27T18:49:00.000-06:00

I was so excited to order the winter edition of Kinfolk Magazine, that I typed in the wrong address when I ordered it.

I only noticed it when I got the e-mail telling me that it had shipped to so and so address, which was a corner building across the street.

I first called USPS. They said they couldn't do a thing. I went to two post offices. The first ones power was off and after waiting for 45 minutes, I got up to him and he was of no help. I said, "Okay, you are the post office, what do you suggest I do?" He finally told me to call "911" and handed me the USPS toll free number.

The building across the street had an address but was just an empty stairwell. So, I couldn't tell them to watch out for it.

When I got to the second post office she told me that there was no way they could change it in the computer and that my mail carrier, Nicole, was a stickler for the rules and was bound to send the magazine back! But, then she gave me their unlisted number and told me to call first thing in the morning and plead with Nicole.

I went home, taped a note to Nicole on my mailbox and sent myself a letter with a big note to Nicole. I then stalked her. Everyday I went down to the mailbox every 30 minutes but always missed her until the last day. She was a stickler, but eventually warmed up to me and the very next day I got my Kinfolk!

Nathan, the editor, was really awesome about it and was working with me to track and get the magazine.

Anyhow, this magazine is so great. It creates a sense of place and community just looking through it. The photos are amazing and it has me inspired to nestle up with a hot cup of tea and write my heart out. It embodies everything that I yearn to have back in my life; the Bellingham life filled with community and music and mountain hikes through the fog or life in France, spending hours and hours talking around the table.

I couldn't put it down. Some of the writings about winter where so very true, how we long for community even more on these dark days. This being my first winter in a long time, it was so nice to read words that described these returned sensations I was feeling.

Thanks all you wonderful folks of Kinfolk!!

holidays in Chicago

2011-12-24T09:46:00.001-06:00

I woke up the other morning with the desire to walk until I collapsed with exhaustion.

There was a gentle fog cast over the city and a quiet that only happens around the holidays. I bundled up in my layers and headed east towards the lake.

I had the whole place to myself. I found a bird sanctuary and watched the brightest red cardinals hop from branch to branch.

I walked on paths that Angel and I had trod time and time before, wandering around the city with no agenda. I miss him, we all do. Chicago isn't quite the same without him. But, he has found love and has a baby on the way- we can let him go for that.

The holidays have me miss my people, a lot.

I imagine Norma and Rini drinking champagne and gathering around the fire in France, my cousins in Istanbul, my earthy & compassionate friends in Seattle, Kiara and the Swiss in sunny Florida, and my friends living in the dark up there in Alaska and Scandinavia.

But I am lucky enough to have my family so close these days. My dad who will always field my tears and my mom who loves me even when I'm grumpy, and my brother and his family who bring the spirit of Christmas back into my life with the magic of Santa.

I hope you all have a beautiful holiday filled and are surrounded by those you love.

à table!

2011-12-22T09:22:00.000-06:00

There's nothing like dinner with the Burhops. One never refuses an invitation. Especially if you like food and seafood.

Greg quickly trained Peter to shuck oysters. Dani made a salad out of all she could find in the fridge, which was full of farmers market goodies.

It was Nancy's birthday, so she was suppose to be served but I saw her working on a pureed squash concoction with chestnut puree she brought back from London mixed in.

Jeff opened a bubbly and then a sancerre that went oh so well with the cod and salmon Greg had baked.

We sat around the table and laughed at tales of when Dani and Greg were little kids, we talked of wine (of course) and farms.

It was exactly what I needed and my favorite way to pass an evening-sitting around the table, sharing good food and conversation!

winter wonderland and holiday letters

2011-12-20T08:56:00.000-06:00

What a perfect day to ride the Polar Express! A little bit of winter wonderland here in Chicago.

I have been debating whether I should send out a Christmas e-mail. What are you doing? Sending cards? E-mail? Nothing at all?

I always enjoy any and all updates from everyone. I like my people and I like to be in contact and wish we were all better at it.

It's crazy how relationships get ignored in adult life.

Like last night, I finally hung out with Peter, my friend who I've been friends with since I was 18. We traveled to Morocco together, we lived in Denver at the same time, the Pacific Northwest at the same time and we are both in Chicago and I don't think we've talked since Morocco, that was 3 years ago!

That's the saddest thing about adulthood, how quickly time goes by and you have no idea what is going on in the lives of your loved ones.

I guess, in writing this, I have answered my own question on whether or not to send a holiday note to all in my contact list.

Who do you want to get in contact with this holiday? Anyone you have been wondering about that you haven't contacted in years??

Screen Printing at The Post Family

2011-12-18T16:46:00.000-06:00

One of the great things about being in school is the teachers and the fun events they do for us outside of regular classes.

We went to The Post Family a few weeks ago to do the printing press and were invited back to screen print.

I didn't make the connection the first time we went but part of the family is Scott Thomas, the art director of the Obama campaign.

Dan and I talked about how having a great space to work can be such an inspiration and their space is really neat and inspiring-- art projects everywhere!

It was a real treat and it's so weird do be doing all these art projects-- I was always friends artists, never the one creating it. That's what I love about life, there is always somewhere new to grow, learn and expand!

forest bound tote and artisanal goods via the web

2011-12-16T07:00:00.000-06:00

I have no idea how I came across Forest Bound.

One thing leads to another and soon I am following her blog via Google Reader. I love her use of leather and old salvaged textiles.

Because I wake up at 6 AM and the first thing I do is drink my tea and read my blogs, I was able to see they were selling totes for half off and score one of the 50 they were selling. The tote I got is made from WWII era tents that the Swiss Army used. How cool is that?

I love how the internet puts us in touch with artists where you can read their story and buy products made with love.

Oh and speaking of great artisanal goods, you should check out my good Chicago friends soap company. You can buy in Chicago or online. He's a chemist who spent a few years living in an ashram in India. His soaps are all natural, made with essential oils and literally filled with love. Good stuff.

2011-12-15T12:04:00.001-06:00

Check it out: www.laceybedizdesign.com

I built my first site from scratch. That is I didn't use a platform or template. I learned the html and css, had a great class to push me right along and viola-- I have a nifty new site.

I still have lots more to do like add content and fix those buttons and put together a real resume but I'm too excited not to share.

It's doesn't work on mobile yet, though (and will it ever? ask me next quarter). So, try it out on your computer and hopefully you use a good browser like Firefox or Chrome.

Try scrolling from top to button to see the cool parallax effect on the backgrounds.

I can't tell you the feeling of being able to finally create something and to get over the hump of being intimidated by code!

Next up on the list (my plan for x-mas break): intro to jquery/javascript!

a little piece of nature in my living room

2011-12-14T09:08:00.002-06:00

It's getting easier to spend all day sitting still as I get older, but I still am not fond of it. I miss my physical jobs working on farms, getting my hands dirty.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I'm doing now. It pushes me in ways that when I have made something gives me this amazing feeling of accomplishment.

I realized the other day, that I need to force myself outside.

One of my favorite tasks at the lodge in Alaska was to make floral arrangements from local plants gathered around the property. I'd wander to the beach and grab sea grasses, beach peas, sea greens, cow parsnip and drift wood or I would head to the top of the hill and collect branches full of wild berries and grasses.

I loved being outside, scanning the land for beautiful things and wanted to incorporate the outside, the edibles, with what the guests would see inside, to connect them with the land.

My love shined through and soon I was complimented and thanked for my arrangements, it was a skill I never knew I had.

So, yesterday, knowing I had to get outside and since the flowers I bought at the market wilted in a day, I knew I wanted to see what I could gather in the city.

I headed to the canal for a brisk interlude with nature. I love the browns and tans of dried wild plants and grasses and am not giving up on my dream of one day owning my own bed and breakfast which will have local arrangements in every room and sheep in the back yard!

But, until then, I will supplement my computer dork life with jaunts around the hood looking for outside things to bring inside as a physical reminder of what's waiting for me out there.

web design & school

2011-12-12T16:35:00.000-06:00

winter light // chicago

I was really blessed to have advertising from a really great company on this blog but I gave it up for the sleeker look.

I made some money, not a lot, but enough to buy some nice bottles of wine. But, what do you think? Do you ever click on ads?

I feel like as a Web Design student, it was more important for me to have the updated technologies on my blog vs. the ads. So far, I think this was an alright choice.

This quarter is coming to an end (come Thursday, I'm off until the new year!) And next quarter is going to be intense; Editorial Typography 2, UX, Web Development 2, Logos, SEO, Wordpress, and Electronic Design Production.

This quarter pushed me in many ways. I'm super literal and way more scientific minded than artistic minded, basic design was a challenge for me.

I know, I take pictures, that's creative but creating with a blank canvas is a whole different realm and I'm glad I went to school instead of trying to do it on my own because it has opened up my eyes to so many things.

I like science because it has answers. I guess I am a stickler for finding a solution, the "right" solution and being critiqued from these creatives is really good for my creative growth.

And...I made my first site from scratch (my portfolio site). I'm so exited about it. I have a bit more to do with the content, which I will do over break and then I will post the link!

Christmas time in the city

2011-12-11T20:48:00.001-06:00

Is it almost Christmas? I guess it's time I come out of my cave and head to Michigan Ave for some holiday scenes.

But, aren't these ice sculptures great? Courtesy of a nice little town up north called Highland Park.

snow • lake michigan • home

2011-12-09T21:21:00.001-06:00

I have gotten in the habit of waking when the world is still dark and silent.

My apartment faces south and has windows on the entire south wall and outside my windows is a vast plane that is the rooftop of another building.

When I woke up blurry eyed yesterday, I squinted to look at the roof. It was dark but something was different. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was wrapped in a blanket of white, fluffy snow!

And I was actually excited. I have avoided winter for years and am rediscovering the joy and beauty in it.

I took my camera and headed to our home away from home with my dad- the harbor.

Dad loves the summer and heat so to him going to the harbor in the winter is like seeing the ghost of a loved one, memories of something you adore but not there is physical form.

I have always adored Lake Michigan in the winter. The solace and silence there is a complete contrast to the summers where the beach is always packed full of people.

I have spent many winter here exploring the frozen coast line and soaking in the beauty of the nude trees.

I gotta tell ya, it is a challenge returning home and at times, I just want to hop a plane and go somewhere foreign, somewhere completely new but there's something remarkable about not jumping on every whim, I am actually seeing how wonderful it is to be home. To be with my family, to have friends who know me, to be in the city that raised me and made me who I am, is a love in my life that I never knew I had.

winter

2011-12-06T13:20:00.001-06:00

outside my window

inside my window

Something has come over me. My fear of winter has turned into anticipation of winter.

I'm craving fires and wool sweaters over tropical beaches. Who would have thought.

And what I loved most, she had so much soul

2011-12-02T20:58:00.001-06:00

I don't think you can grow up in Chicago and not have an affinity for hip hop and R & B.

People I meet all over the world, are always surprised by my love for it. I love the look of shock on their face when they find out. I tell them I grew up surrounded by this music, that rhythm was a constant back drop in our lives growing up here. There's something about hip hop that just makes you feel so good.

Danielle insisted that we go to the Kanye West and Jay-Z concert, I hadn't even moved back to the city at this point and was immediately reluctant to go to a big ass venue but Danielle wouldn't take no for an answer.

As kids, we used to drive to the south side of Chicago, on freezing Chicago nights to go to shows, concerts and raves.

I remember wind howling nights with my car packed full of friends, a broken window with a trash bag over it and blasting the heat and Common or De La Soul or Tribe on the stereo.

I remember getting the car parked in in parking lots and having to sleep in the car until the sun came up, huddled together to keep warm.

Or the time, we got kicked out of the South Side, a bunch of white kids adventuring through the ghetto at 2 am.

Or who can forget, the time I got a flat tire on a -30 F night, the coldest night in Chicago in years. The bolts where frozen on the wheel, that we could not get the tire off to change it so we drove home on the rim, sparks flying on the desolate cold streets of the city.

I was reminded of all this at the Kanye/ Jay-z concert. I was reminded about the fun adventures city life brings and how our world here is about the music and the culture. There's no mountains, forests or rivers here, the beauty is in what man can create through sound, movement and interaction.

The concert was awesome. Kanye was wearing a leather kilt. His own design? Probably. It wasn't that flattering, it made him look stalky but he doesn't care. And those diamond and gold teeth he has? Insane.

The show was really thought out. It was as Danielle said, theatrical. Dueling stages, amazing lights, costume changes and a short video of Kanye and Jay-Z driving around the South Side giving love to the people.

We came out of the show and it was snowing. Danielle was wearing heels and we couldn't find her car, reminiscent of the good ol' days. But, we were happy to had been infused with that rhythm and adventure once again.

morning light, progress & podcasts

2011-12-01T09:54:00.001-06:00

I can't get over the morning light. I love it, it gently nudges me awake and makes me search for my camera. By the end of the year, I will have a million photos of light in my apartment.

You know what I have discovered? Winter isn't so bad. Okay, okay I know I will be bitching come February but right now, I'm enjoying big chunky sweaters, plaid, copious amounts of tea, radiator heat, hermit-ing, candle light, and heavy foods to warm up the soul.

Yesterday was a good day as I started building a web site with out too much frustration. I did the entire home page while in class. I can't tell you how cool it feels to learn a completely new language and be able to implement it. This was in class 7. In class 1 thru 5, I thought I'd never get it. There's still a TON to learn and I am learning that one never has nothing to do in this career.

Are you guys into podcasts? I love them. I love information and stories and love that I can work while infusing more crap into my brain. Here's some I like:

I just started listening to Alec Baldwin's new podcast, very entertaining. Plus, his voice is awesome.

For the tech dorks, I really enjoy listening to Josh Gruber and Dan Benjamin's The Talk Show.

Radiolab's podcast this week is pretty cool, it is about where the model for the CPR dummy came from, she's French and drowned in the Seine.

How are things with you my friends? Are you ready for the holidays? Can you believe it's December already?

walking • old friends • city life

2011-11-25T09:15:00.001-06:00

• early morning baking •

• display in the Merchandise Mart •

• reflection in a garden ornament •

• accessorize •

• beautiful parts •

• beautiful parts: elk •

• burlap •

I could spend the rest of my life walking around this world and taking photos.

Except today, it's really rainy and I am thankful I had my rain boots.

City life is crazy. I feel like I am always on a timer. To make the train, to make it to class or when I rent the hourly i-go cars, I have to rush to get it back by the designated time.

I'm not a fan of the timer. I prefer the tides.

My high school friends came to my neighborhood last night. There is nothing like old friends. We walked around in the mild night air and laughed and talked. It was a comfort that I have long missed, having a group and a group that knows each other so very well.

It's just like drinking hot cocoa with whip cream on top-- yummy, comforting, goodness.

happy thanksgiving xx

2011-11-24T08:39:00.001-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. Being on the road so many years, I haven't had a Thanksgiving ritual since I was kid, so being at home in Chicago is a treat.

There is so much to be thankful for and the first thing that comes to mind is being thankful for all the amazing people that have come into my life. I wish I could move everyone I have met and loved all over the world on to one big farm. I'd love to create a commune of coolness.

And living alone (my first time ever!) has me missing my people more than ever. Life has been all work and it might be time to incorporate a social life. I never realized how much you had to work at it being an adult and I am so used to being on my own and moving that I forget to make that effort-- so I called some great, old friends this week for much needed soulful connection.

The pics above are from my apartment. I LOVE my apartment. I turn the lights down low, turn on some music (lately it's Bach's cello suites), and happily work on all the homework. This week knocking out 40 something grid layouts.

I found the buck antler in Colorado last winter and love it. It reminds me of all that is wild and nature. And it keeps me focused on my dream of being back to the rustic soon.

Here is another link to my first year in France, where I got to help a farmer friend slaughter turkey's. I was in charge of cleaning out the stones in the gizzards. So very cool.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday. What is on your menu?

dining and girlfriends

2011-11-22T09:51:00.000-06:00

Oh my. I have a friend who spoils me. I spent the weekend at my friend Jill's house.

Jill is an incredible woman. She is a pilot for a major airline and she is chef. And the woman has an incredible tasteful design aesthetic.

I am always intrigued to hear her stories about being one of the few women pilots and find her a role model for all that she had plowed through and then to be a chef on top of that!

We met in Alaska and she has a second home and family in rustic France just like I do. So with a love of Alaska, France, food and design we can manage to talk for 11 hours straight without stopping.

I was in awe of her beautiful home in the woods with a gorgeous, modern kitchen that she designed herself. Cabinets and storage are tucked away, so you don't see all that clutter. All there is is space to create fabulous meals.

And that she did.

She opened a bottle of '92 Chateau Latour and some barolo as well. Spoiled, I tell ya! We had prosciutto, and roasted red peppers, roasted artichokes, cheeses and for the main meal we had osso bucco and broccoli rabe.

Oh my goodness, I couldn't stop eating. I felt like the poor little orphan picked up off the cold streets who eats everything in sight.

As I said, we talked all night. Jill has always been so supportive and has words of wisdom and gave me encouragement that I was doing the right thing in life right now and that having my own place is so very important. When I came home on Sunday, I had a deeper love and appreciation for my apartment.

I have always wanted her to open a bed and breakfast. I think she would do such a great job.

The visit was so soul satisfying. Good food, nature outside, girl talk-- it was long overdue.

Thanks, Jill!!

on a walk

2011-11-20T13:25:00.001-06:00

It's starting to get cold and walks now come with putting on layers and hardly being able to move. I have even started pondering the idea of renting a car to get groceries. But, it might take some snow for me to act on it.

I can not believe Thanksgiving is here. I keep on thinking of our Thanksgiving last year in Limousin. Maggie, the southern bell had the idea and and Paul made it happen. We got local birds from the neighbor and invited some Limousin Americans, English and German. It was so fun. I miss it.

I hear there will be football games at this years Thanksgiving. If I were ever to get married, the deal breaker would be football if he were to be a fan, seriously, that's how much I loathe the sport. Sorry guys.

What are you (American friends) doing this Thanksgiving?

brunch

2011-11-20T09:31:00.000-06:00

Sometimes there is a need to go off budget. One can only eat alone for so long.

And that's when brunch with girlfriends because a necessary medicinal.

We went to M. Henry last week. The decor is French country-- so of course I'm happy as a clam and ready to move in.

(FYI: the pics aren't gluten free, I just get to admire the presentation)

dreamin'

2011-11-14T08:45:00.001-06:00

My dreams can be summed up in these boots.

I dream of living outdoors, in Vermont or Alaska or France.

I dream of walking through muddy forests looking for mushrooms and wading at low tide in search of seaweed.

I dream of wood fire and rustic cabins. Of silence, so quiet you can hear the snow melt.

I dream of wool blankets and sweet cuddles.

Of chopping wood and outhouses.

I dream of temperamental weather and a lack of roads and bears that walk up to your doorstep.

I dream of magical things like forest gnomes and sunken treasure.

I dream of banjos and mandolins. Of sweet soulful song.

I dream of love and happiness and simplicity and truth.

And you, my friend? Share with me your dreams?

learning about type

2011-11-12T15:58:00.001-06:00

Typography is probably my favorite class.

I always noticed signs and letters when traveling and admired how they looked and created a mood but I never really thought much passed that.

I never thought about what makes a typeface bad or good, or noticed how certain fonts like Helvetica are everywhere.

I never knew the history and that those who design typefaces must be crazy, patient, perfectionists that are completely in love with the craft.

I just finished reading Just My Type by Simon Garfield and I highly recommend this eye opener into the world of type. I think, even if you weren't into typography you would enjoy this read for it talks about these typefaces that are so very much apart of our lives, forever painting a backdrop or filling the space like background music. We are all familiar with type because we live in society, so reading more about it is so very fascinating.

Here is a couple of fun type related links I found through Garfield book:

- What type are you? Is a fun website that figures out your personality in a font. Apparently, I'm Archer Hairline, which I could see, reserved on the outside but a little nutty around very close friends.

- And here is a You Tube video of a girl who calls herself after the font Mrs. Eaves and her claim to fame is drawing all over her body in the typeface.

The pictures above are from a homework assignment where we had to try an express a word through a single font.

fall photos

2011-11-11T19:15:00.001-06:00

Fall is my favorite season. And I normally spend most of it out taking pictures but this fall I have been a bit too busy, so I forced myself away from the computer and walked around the hood the other day to catch the last traces of fall. And sadly, I have not devoted anytime to mushroom hunting. Not that there's much around here but I still like the misson.

School is good. It's all starting to click for me. I am learning, though, through all my design classes that I am painstakingly literal.

I always knew that I was serious, that I didn't know how to read in between the lines, that I don't get jokes and I love nothing more than I good instruction manual but being in classes with all these creative folk, I see how my literal mind gets in the way. When I have an assignment, I try to do exactly what the teacher has written, rarely thinking outside the box. I can put together your Ikea furniture, no problem but paint a mural??

I had always thought I was a bit of a poser whilst studying the sciences, I assumed I was creative but now...I'm finding that I gravitate towards order and solutions. Funny, huh? Thats why it is so important to always do and learn new things because there's so many ways to grow and expand.

Anyhoo-- I've posted this one on Twitter but I'll share with you a very cool website from a very great French company, Diptyque. I spent a cold December night drooling over their candles in Paris, I remember it like it was yesterday.

new blogger template

2011-11-10T09:03:00.001-06:00

What do you think of the new blogger??

It is enough to distract me a ton! I really like the look. It's clean, it's modern but I don't like that you can not tweak the code and make modifications like adding Twitter and Facebook buttons. Or having ads.

But, I love how it shows off photos so well.

So, here is how it works:

Just follow that arrow to the drop down menu by the word "classic" and you, the reader, can choose what view you like.

There is Mosaic view that fills in the pages with all the photos I've taken over the years if you're in to just scrolling through pictures. If you want to randomly read posts from over the years, you can go to Magazine view.

Another problem I have, is there is no way to sort through categories, which I previously had so if you wanted to read about wine, France, walking across Spain, Alaska, health, simplistic living and so on, you could just click on those links. Well, that's no longer available and I haven't played with finding a work around because I should really be doing homework!

But, really, how many people really read through all that? I think in this age of information overload, pictures are what we want, to get the point fast and visually. What do you think?

2011-11-09T08:51:00.003-06:00

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

printing press at The Post Family

2011-11-06T07:40:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was glorious. Thank goodness.

It enabled me to ride my bike into the city. Bike riding in Chicago is CRAZY. It satisfies the thrill seeker in me, winding in and out of traffic, trying not to get hit, or run over that pile of smashed glass, riding in between lanes to get around the smog producing city bus! So fun.

I rode to meet my Typography class at The Post Family workspace, a space that 7 creative guys put together to "have a clubhouse for design nerds," I believe was David's quote.

The space was one to be envious of and immediately makes you want to become a design nerd yourself and join the club. White painted bricks walls, tons of space and projects going everywhere- super cool.

We were invited to learn what life was like before the computer when everything had to be handset. Imagine carving type into lead or wood and then composing blocks of text, hand centering it and spacing it and then printing.

"So how long did it take to print an a book?"

"Forever."

Everyone was so nice and we have such great teachers to set this up.

I adore the old school. Hand washing laundry, wood fire heat, walking, cooking on a fire, wooden sailboats, compasses, natural wine making and on and on so it was no wonder that I would really enjoy printing like they did long ago.

Chicago // Culture // Travel

2011-11-04T16:19:00.000-05:00

Ah. Blogger fixed. Now, I can get back on task.

Here's some neighborhood shots. I do have to say, I live in a great Chicago neighborhood. I'm near everything coffee shops, wine shops, food stores, both train lines and so close to the North Shore trail.

Yep, I can wander through the bird sanctuary on the canal and watch old European men fish. Little hidden gems in Chicago as I am ACHING for nature.

I think Chicago made me the traveler that I am. I can go to any country, any language and feel at home. I can navigate my way around and it takes a lot to culturally shock me.

I realized I have Chicago to thank for this as I had an appointment for some beauty crap today. I found a cheap place on the web and rode my bike to little Arabia.

I could have been in Marrakech or Istanbul. Men in clusters dressed in arab garb, hands behind their back moving their prayer beads through their finger tips.

The office was in a sketchy, unmarked building in the basement. It reminded me of the place I got my eyebrows "waxed" in Morocco.

Oh, I adore cultural adventures. It turned out way better than going to a spa run by white folk. Cultures approach business differently and I wonder if my exposure to this growing up made occurrences on the road less surprising.

I look forward to more cultural adventures this year!

Here's a blog I am loving, it's images from a young lady traveler on her tumblr. She has created my dream board in a blog. I love it!

And since we are on a travel tip today, here is a sweet young couple traveling Europe right now, making me rather envious. (I always wanted to traveler with boyfriend!)

2011-11-03T20:22:00.021-05:00

Well, I have been a bit absent on the regular posts because something is up with my blogger account. I had to pull some tricks to get these photos up and they won't align, which seems to be a problem following me in just about every project I encounter. (I spent hours upon hours last week trying to center a web page in CSS-- not as easier as it would appear to be).

School is crazy. I forgot how it goes to learn new things. I thought I was wise to go out in the real world before returning to school but man, I sorta wish I had stayed in and never came out.

I feel old and behind. All these kids...they never got off the educational boat and I have been hand washing my laundry in tiny villages and living with no plumbing. So, needless to say, I have a lot of catch up to do. And there are days, I find myself feeling incredibly insecure about the whole thing and that I'm at an AD school. How weird is that? Ads...me writing ads? So weird.

In other news, the weather sucks when it sucks and rocks when it rocks. Welcome home to Chicago. But, it makes for some great tea drinking ambience!

un chien d' halloween

2011-10-31T09:53:00.000-05:00

Since it's Halloween, I thought I'd post a picture of my favorite costume.

This is Java, she's French. And she was dressed as a bubble bee.

If your in Chicago and adore France and French products or just want to talk to a sweet French girl and her adorable shop dog, head to Autrepart in Lincoln Park.

I forgot for a second that I was in the States. (and you know how make believing I am in France is my favorite past time!)

quotes, frustration, finances, learning

2011-10-26T21:00:00.000-05:00

As my world is being open up to typography, I stumbled upon this quote from Matthew Carter, a type designer:

"You have to find the fascination greater than the frustration."

Which is exactly how I am feeling when it comes to web development. Some moments, I get so pissed off that I can't figure out a solution, but I get addicted, I can not back away from the computer until I have solved the problem. I am equally fascinated and frustrated.

It is way more frustrating than working physical labor up to 16 hours a day, 6 days a week in Alaska or France (over 16 hour days, 7 days a week). I think I might need a little Alaska, a litte France after this.

There is also another frustrating fascination in my life currently: finances. I am queen of living on nothing and if I go into debt, I do everything to get out of it: no social life, no haircuts, no yummy food, no chocolate.

Well, my credit card bill last month was $1800! *gasp* It's normally $400.

I know, I know... I moved into a place, furnished it, bought school supplies, clothes for cold weather and I had an art show.

City living is an adjustment.

I stumbled upon this blog. She is a lady like me, a minimalist, lives out of a bag and takes getting out of debt seriously. I got re-inspired to keep on being cheap.

Do you hear that, friends? I won't be partaking in those $12 glasses of wine with you.

And I can do it. You ain't ever met a gal with more will power than yours truly. We will keep that credit card bill down. I shall track my finances on Mint.com.

It's all about focus. And analyzing every impulse. If you stop and think about an impulse long enough (impulse to spend, to eat, to...) the impulse soon subsides.

What can you commit to like crazy? What's the goal you have been dying to achieve? Let's be in this together, team! Buy less useless crap? Stop watching time draining TV? Exercise? Eat well? Give up caffeine? Or better yet, sugar?

Let's make it a frustrating fascination, shall we?

autumn family photos

2011-10-25T10:47:00.003-05:00

What perfect weather we had, taking photos on Sunday. The weather man said it was gonna rain, but we lucked out.

I adore the autumn light. Isn't it just gorgeous? As well as my highly photogenic subjects! I would die to be this photogenic! I am the least photogenic person ever, the pics you see with me are the rare good ones that come every few hundred shots or so. Perhaps that's why I take photos instead of posing for them! Ha!

The C family were an easy, breezy group to take photos of, everyone seemed to enjoy being in front of the lens. Thanks guys for being such great subjects!!

the hard exterior of Chicago

2011-10-22T17:57:00.000-05:00

So, I have been living in my native Chicago a few weeks now. For the last 15 years, I would come home for holidays and hermit and moan about the cold, gorging myself on salty mixed nuts, wine and lattes and never go out.

Well, moving back is way different than visiting, I am out and about in the city all the time now which has given me plenty of opportunity to observe. I realize, how much of this city is ingrained in my person. Who I am is Chicago. I can go far away and adopt everyone elses ways of being but the core of who I am is what these people are here.

I long ago learned that I can come off as not very welcoming with a big, cold, barrier in front of me. This whole time, I thought it was personal, but it's not, it is cultural.

People in Chicago are so not friendly. Now, I have adapted by living in small, friendly communities, I have learned some manners. And the French have ingrained in me how rude it is to enter and leave an establishment with out proper salutations.

Being back, I am astounded at peoples disconnect. Like the other day, I was in the elevator with a girl who is in my class and she wouldn't say hi or look at me so I could say hi. So, we just sat there locked in awkward silence. And this happens everywhere in this city.

Little women with huge suitcases are left to fend for themselves, carrying it up the subway stairs. While Parisians may be rude, they ALWAYS offer a hand in that situation.

I was talking to one of my classmates who is from Evanston, where I grew up, and he was telling me the culture shock he had when he went to school in Iowa, "everyone in the hallway kept saying hello to me and I was really confused. Have I met these people before?"

I think about J over there in Indiana and how he waves to every single car that passes him. Such different behaviors, only hours apart.

This city has a hard exterior, and its people are quite the same. But, if you give it a chance, it will show itself to you and you will learn to love it and it's dynamic qualities.

**enjoy the photos, playing with light and pattern.

typography

2011-10-19T22:00:00.001-05:00

A whole new world has open up to me. I always sorta got that type was important but never knew just how much distinction there was in a font.

For example, my design teacher totally made fun of me for using the Hobo font. I must claim ignorance.

Note to self: never again use a font with a trendy name when being critiqued by designers.

Typography is supposed to be seamless. The reader isn't suppose to think about it but then there is this whole other world of people who see things in these letters that the rest of us don't, those who can recognize and name the bad font you used.

This is a new something my OCD/Type A personality is eager to be in the know-how about.

I watched the movie Helvetica last week. Have you seen it? It is streaming on Netflix so watch it. The type was design by the Swiss and is literally used in everything, American Airlines, FedEX, Randstad, everywhere.

After watching the movie, I was suddenly aware and all I could see was Helvetica.

One quote in the movie particularly spoke to me: "Creating order is typography."

Word. I love order, bring on the typography.

*the above pics are from our homework assignment of making Times New Roman and Helvetica out of sculpey. I burned 2 batches (yes, the fire alarm has no gone off 3 times, I think my neighbor hates me)

"I'm drinking LOVE"

2011-10-17T20:11:00.000-05:00

So, I was on the train home today and we were all packed in like sardines, invading each others personal space.

To my left stood a young couple, cooing all over each other. They must have been in high school.

Personally, I found their affection annoying. I mean, he was pawing all over her in total infatuation. It was sweet...in reality but I had just come from printing at Fedex in which I was charged $9 for 6 black and white prints that printed in the wrong size.

Needless to say, I was pissy.

Then this black chick standing in front of me smacks her lips loudly and says, "I want what y'all is drinking," breaking the distance between all of us commuters being irritated at the couple.

I burst out laughing.

The kids were confused. "Drink? What? "

When the boy got it he said, "Oh, I am drinking LOVE."

Okay, that youthful optimism was rather enduring in the end. My el train grumpiness was transcended by love and a lip smacking extrovert. Sweet.

the show

2011-10-15T14:11:00.001-05:00

I gotta thank my best friend and her brother for making this first show possible. Dani endured a lot of driving to the South side to make this happen.

Nate, the other artist, did an amazing job setting up. I had no idea that it was possible to make the space look like a full on gallery.

I'd forget that I had a wall of my "work" up and every now and then, I would look up and see people looking, tilting their heads, pointing and discussing my photos. How very exciting.

Greg's board game, made out of salvaged barn wood, was also a hit and instant party pleaser.

Thanks for coming out y'all. :)

like googling on speed

2011-10-13T09:36:00.001-05:00

5:30 AM, a truck in the alley below my window, the little jewish man who lives upstairs is pacing again (he paces at 5, noon, midnight...). I am up again.

Probably just too overstimulated and way excited. From my first art show, to the first week of school, to IOS 5 coming out (which I played with instead of going to bed last night).

Being in school is awesome for all the resources and information you come across. I love learning and I love information and the educational environment is like googling on speed. So much info comes across your radar.

Like yesterday, I met a guy who just did his first photography show. He showed me tons of ways to print and hang (if only I had met him a month ago.)

Here are some things I have come across this week:

An AWESOMELY creative website. Here's a behind the scenes article of how it was made for all you tech geeks.

Here's an article for all you PBR drinking trend-balls, you've been hoodwinked!

And another great website for all you fellow Francophiles!

Indiana • nature • i-go • Chicago Marathon • mishaps

2011-10-10T09:29:00.000-05:00

I almost burned down my apartment this afternoon. See, my oven doesn’t work, so I have been using a toaster oven but I don’t have pan or tin foil.

So, I just put a piece of lamb shoulder on the rack and well, with all that fat, the thing flamed up.

I stood there like an idiot. Do I pour water on it or hit it with a towel?

I nervously dialed my brother, my hands shaking...the iPhone isn’t so good for emergency quick dials as I started hitting the more common things I use like my e-mail box or Google reader.

Anyhow, no one answered. Maybe I shouldn’t live alone. It died down and I survived.

I had some photos that arrived by mail at my dad’s house so I figured I should hop the train and retrieve them as the show is on Friday but school will need my attention during the week.

As I have been riding trains all weekend, I just returned from visiting J in Indiana via Amtrak, I think my travel brain has turned to mush. I boarded the wrong side of the tracks to get to the suburbs. I saw the train pull up, ran down the stairs, sprinted across the street, darted in front of moving traffic and was seconds away from catching it.

My Sunday was sucking.

So, I decided to jump into an I-go, cars rentable by the hour. It costs more than the train, for sure, but after next week, this show will be behind me and no longer do I have to spend money on it.

Let’s rewind a bit. As these pictures are from Indiana. The harvest is just beginning and I wish I could have had more than one day to take pictures of the amber autumn sun and the golden corn husks.

The way to this girls heart is through food that is foraged, hunted, gathered and to my delight J had a great meal planned upon my arrival of walleye he caught, pheasant he hunted, and mushrooms he found (hens of the woods and honey mushrooms). Everything was delicious and I was particularly fond of the Hen of the Woods, which I had read about but never had.

Indiana reminds me a lot of Limousin. Woodfires, farmers, small town vibe, hunters, mushrooms, chestnuts. It’s funny they always told me in France that Indiana was the Limousin of France and now I can see why.

The next night we drove through the sunset to go fishing on the river. We hopped on the ATV and rode through the pasture, through the mud and woods to the river.

It was awesome riding through the country as the sun was setting, out in nature and as soon as we got there J caught a fish and I found mushrooms!

It’s exactly what I need after being here in the big city. A chance to slow down, be in nature, eat some real food.

As soon as I arrived in Chicago this morning, I was on the go, trying to catch the next train. With only minutes to get from Union Station to Ogilvie station, I was sprinting when I came across the fricking Chicago marathon.

Spectators were lined up on the side of the road and a river of runners where filling the road I needed to cross.

I stopped a staff member and said, “how am I suppose to cross, I got a train to catch,” when a marathoner who had completed told me to go with him as he needed to cross too.

We had to go upstream and run in down and diagonally. He was holding my arm the entire time. I felt like such a fool running in the Chicago marathon with my lap top and bag while attached to some dude. To top it all of, I got yelled at by the other marathoners.

What a weekend. And the fun never ends. The show is next Friday, so if your in Chicago and want to come, send me an e-mail. It will be pretty amazing with music and another artist, Nate, whose got some craziness planned and you can have a chance to play Greg’s board game that he invented.

autumn light

2011-10-07T13:45:00.002-05:00

The light has been amazing as of late. With an amazingly full plate these days, I must find time to relish in the autumn light and take a few afternoons to wander with no agenda.

a new year of new possibilities

2011-10-04T12:30:00.002-05:00

You are going to be seeing pictures of my apartment for a long time because I am completely in love with it.

I had no idea how much fun settling could be!! I have always been too cheap to invest in anything, ever. I always counted dollars as days spent living in SE Asia. Like the dresser I bought, that's 2.5 days. The chairs, that's a week.

France changed me though, I got used to fine linens and furniture made with craftsmanship. I fell in love with quality and knew that when I was ready to have a place, I would blend my thrifty skill with my love of old, quality things.

School started yesterday. Basically, I want to learn web development, the front end programing because a.) I like figuring things out and love technology and b.) I can work independently. I love people but can't focus one bit when I have to work with them and c.) I want to work from anywhere in the world (live in France part of the year, Alaska and the Keys the other parts)

I choose a portfolio school which has a bit more than basic front end development skills. I will be learning about marketing, branding, design and such. I thought it would be good to be well rounded as to have a more competitive edge. But, really, all I want to do is geek out.

I felt like I entered a totally foreign world as everyone was talking advertising, their favorite brands, and commercials. Here I am a nutritionist, traveler, francophile, MINIMALIST who doesn't go shopping, eat at chain restaurants or watch TV, or care about advertising.

But, I get it, if you are building a web site for a bed and breakfast. You are selling that product. So, knowing how to make the website more than functional will be a great skill to have.

The above picture is one of my new chairs. Sweet, huh?

I love my place so much, I never want to leave it. Maybe this will quell the need to travel?

I am having my first art show on Oct. 14th here in Chicago. I wasn't too concerned about it until I met the other artist who I will be sharing the space with. He way more together and artsy than I am and had an exhibit full with much more meaning than I have got. He wants to hire an actor to do a performance in the corner, bring a band and pretty much have a HUGE event where he will be bringing lots of people.

I freaked. "OMG, this dude is all deep and eccentric and I got a wall full of French cows and sheep and some barns."

I guess, it is all a new adventure- settling down, acquiring possessions, living alone, coming home to Chicago, learning about advertising, going back to school, having an art show (when I don't consider myself an artist!). This is year is gonna be crazy.

xx

Chicago • bargains • apartment • community • newfound freedom

2011-10-02T11:42:00.000-05:00

amazing light // love the old radiators

Since we have last talked, I have moved into my apartment here in Chicago.

It’s funny, how all I want is to live way out in the country, where your nearest neighbor is miles and miles away and for me it is hard to get there yet moving to this big city is nothing, easy peasy.

I grew up here, so it may be the 3rd largest US city, but it seems rather small to me. My community here is quite large and at this time in my life, I relish being around like minded people who I’m already well acquainted with and with whom share similar interests.

shell from pilgrimage in Spain // cork from '67 Lafite-Rothschild I shared w/ my favorite teacher // French notebook from the one who brought me to France

I think about visiting my good buddy from high school who I hadn’t seen in 11 years and the music he is playing: sitar music, Beatles, ambient music-- it is the music I play, heck it’s what we grew up with.

And Greg, my BFF’s brother, was playing old school hop hop when I stopped by tonight; Pharcyde, Common, Mos Def, De La Soul. It’s like that 15 years I was gone, never happened and I am jumping back into the swing of things.

cute, little kitchen

Except, that 15 years did happen. And for those of you who don’t know my story, I left Chicago when I was 18, got an college degree in Washington State and after a year and a half in corporate America, I fled the country/the settled life for 8 years. Being unsettled gives one tons of freedom. Anytime the desire for a change of scenery struck me, it literally took me 15 minutes to pack my bags and I was off on some new grand adventure.

I also had financial freedom for all that money that went to rent, internet bills, phone bills, clothes, Starbucks, going to the bar was saved and spent living in bamboo huts on the beach or chateaus in rural France.

light

Seeing the world has been marvelous but 8 years spent living in other peoples spaces, constantly being a guest can wear a girl down. Once traveling became my way of life, I longed to have a place where I could call the shots, were there was no TV and only classical music, where the dishes where done right away, where there was no junk or knicks nacks. I longed for hard wood floors and great windows and minimalist design.

I may be a minimalist but I am a firm believer in ambience and creating a space. That’s why I adore France so...it is their aesthetic, their old homes, beautiful lighting, old things, and great taste in food and wine and music.

When I lived with D in the round, stone house in Galicia, Spain, it had been an unused restaurant for quite some time. I never needed to spend money to create comfort. I scrubbed all the stone floors, removed all the clutter and filled the space with fresh picked flowers, candlelight and soothing music.

light

We opened our doors as a place for traveling pilgrims to sleep on the El Camino de Santiago Compostela. As a pilgrim myself and a lover of aesthetics, I understood the need for a nights sleep in a serene place. Many who had slept at our spot had told me it was their favorite spot they had slept in along the entire camino and they had felt refreshed after sleeping at our place. This was music to my ears and praise I will forever carry in my heart.

And I fully believe the next spot I’ll have is a rustic cabin. Right now, though, this space is fulfilling my every desire and need. And I totally lucked out.

rooftop view

I came to see the smaller studio apartment and the apartment manager told me this would be available in the coming month, after they remodeled it. It was $25 more for a place that had a separate kitchen, a corner unit, with a bit more room.

The previous tenant was still living here when I saw it. It had dirty, steal blue carpet and the place was a mess with her two cats wandering around. I said I would take it without knowing how it would turn out.

light

When I moved in the apartment manager told me the rental company was pissed that they she told me the price she did, because, after the renovation, this place was worth so much more.

It’s clean and new but with old fixtures and doors. I have a ton of windows and natural light fills the space. I managed to fit a small bed in the closet making this studio into a one bedroom.

kitchen

My family has been amazing. My sister-in-law took me to Ikea twice (with babies in tow!) and came and gave me her design ideas. My dad and step mom have made countless trips to the city to drop off stuff. They have also supplied me with so many necessities like my bed, blender, utensils.

Today, my step mom took me to the estate sales which I adore. We have a lot of upper class up north that sell amazing antiques for next to nothing. I got a beautiful chest for $50 and I walked home with $1200 worth of chairs for $145. The chairs were French tub chairs and were quite gorgeous. They were asking $500, so I wasn’t even paying attention to them.

I didn't have an utensils or plates the first few nights! Dining camper style!

The house was filled with French antiques and I mentioned to a lady that I have lived all over the world including France and she told me the owner had lived in Asia and France. At that point, I started talking to the owner about life in Bangkok and France and we connected the way travelers do.

As I was leaving I told them to call me if they didn’t sell them and I would buy them for $150. She looked at me like I was crazy but as I walked out the door, she called me back and told me the owner liked me so much that she would give me the deal. Thus, I am now obsessed with buying and selling antiques. Not to mention, I was stopped later in the day with compliments of my green Italian wool scarf that I picked up at a thrift store in Florida for $1.

I have been really resist to settle, but now that I am more settled than I have been in years, it feels really good. We all know, I won’t stay put forever but as one gets older, the years become shorter and if creating ambience, a sanctuary for oneself, is not so bad. I feel like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders.

I tell you, I cried as I was cleaning and decorating. I have found a new found freedom, a freedom to have everything the way I want it for living in someone else's space you live by their rules. It is proper etiquette, to not disturb your hosts rhythm and try and make your self seem to blend in as not to stress your host with your presence. You should follow their rules, absolutely, but as a warrior of the road and 8 years being a guest, it’s time I call the shots, make the rules and become a host to all of those who have been so gracious with me all these years.

I have no wifi, can you tell? Hence the really long blog post, no distractions. I shall stop now. Time to listen to what is going on at Lake Wobegon. Or organize my sweaters....

Come visit. xx

acupuncture in China

2011-09-27T13:13:00.000-05:00

I have been going through my stored boxes at my dads house and came across a some CDs with pictures from my travels, back in the day when photos weren't uploaded or blogged.

In 2005, I hopped a train from Kunming and took it to a small town in the Hunan province to study Traditional Chinese Medicine.

I studied with Eisa, a medical doctor from Iran. He had brought his family who would wander the streets of cold, rural China entertaining themselves as Eias was in class.

The shot above is from our celebration of the Iranian New Year. His wife had gone to the market and found as many sweets as she could. Our fellow dorm mates, medical students, and I piled into Eisa's cold dorm room as we celebrated.

They had brought a special Iranian delicacy which they praised like it was gold. They were these hard balls of cheese that were very expensive and they wanted to share them with all of us.

The Chinese students were very excited and grateful until they put it in their mouth. The flavor was pungent and tangy and the complete opposite of the flavors of China.

Now, being of Turkish blood, I never thought there would be a cheese I would turn down. I adore stinky French cheeses that taste like the barnyard but this cheese was revolting. I kept my mouth shut but the Chinese were running to the nearest waste basket, they couldn't pretend or just swallow it. Each one of them dramatically spit it out and apologized.

I love culture. I love our differences and constantly compare cultural differences. So, it was a hoot to watch Iranians interact with Chinese as I am normally comparing all cultures to Americans.

These girls were amazing. They had such focus and determination. In China, you are not considered a master until you are very, very old. When these women were studying acupuncture and massage they would have to practice just one massage technique for 4 hours per hand every day for years.

This is why I saw so much success at the clinic I was at in China. Their skill is well above ours. I saw a woman who had been paralyzed for three months walk again after 10 days of Tuina and Acupunctre, a bald women get her hair back, childrens fevers reduce just my hand massages.

I attained my BS in nutrition at a school that trained acupuncturists and while it was a great school, I observed in our western training that we try to learn a little about a lot of things. Thus, narrowing our effectiveness as opposed to the Chinese who spend years mastering a single technique.

I am very American at that. I dabble in everything: nutrition, acupuncture, wine making, web design, cooking, hospitality, photography, banking, administration, naturalist, writing, caregiving...so, I still look to the Chinese focus as inspiration but maybe I should have just been a reporter, taking notes on what everyone around the world is up to...

a memory from Paris

2011-09-25T12:30:00.002-05:00

In 2007, I had met a girl while I was living in Limousin, France who worked in Paris at Shakespeare and Company, the American book shop that let's writers sleep in the shop in exchange for work in the shop and an agreement that they will write an autobiography.

George Whitman established it in 1951 following the in the path of Sylvia Beach's book store which was home to the great writers Ernest Hemingway, Ezra Pound, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Gertrude Stein, George Antheil and Man Ray.

George's shop became a hang out for many writers from the Beat Generation. (Which, as you may know,I am rather found of, hence the title of this blog taken from Kerouac).

I had just returned from a trip to Italy and had decided to spend some time in Paris before I was to return to Limousin and happened upon my friend on the streets of Paris. She had happened to acquire a paid job (which is rare at the store) to take care of George.

She had stories of meeting famous artists and even presidents. She found unopened letters from the likes of William S. Burroughs, as if transported back into time (kind of like Midnight in Paris!)

I was fortunate enough to be invited to the top floor where George lived to attend a tea party. Up a narrow, rickety wooden staircase and amidst heaping towers and mounds of dusty books sat a round wooden table surrounded by characters that could be apart of the tea party scene from Alice in Wonderland. An old Russian novelist took a liking to me and gave me a lesson on how to illegally move to Paris without getting caught.

It was a scene that will forever remind me of the magic of Paris and the splendor of traveling. So, you can imagine how delighted I was when I came across this documentary today about George and his book shop. It's a little long, but do watch it. It reminds you that life can be anything you make it.

photography. coming home. old friends.

2011-09-23T20:26:00.000-05:00

Life has been photography lately. I have been selling more on Etsy and shooting events like this 40th birthday party for a really sweet North Shore family.

To be honest, I wasn't going to do it because of the low light as I am not that equipped. To over compensate, I took 2000 photos in 3 hours. And I put my post editing skills to use. In general, I prefer to not have to edit, to take the shot right in the first place but in those times when that does not occur, I am grateful for Adobe programs.

I also have a show coming up on Oct. 14th. It's in Chicago, if you are around. And I am seriously considering taping my photos like this. A mosaic of sorts which also saves on costs of framing (as I am really poor at the moment).

In other news, it has been really good to be back. There are so many people I adore here and our connection is so different because we all grew up in this city. Evanston (just north of Chicago) is full of interesting people doing interesting things and just about everyone from my town has got some traveling under their belt.

I spent the afternoon with Max who I considered my best guy friend in high school. We haven't seen each other in 11 years. Sitting in his sunny Chicago gallery hearing his stories of love and loss, living in India on a commune for two years and now finishing up his degree in Chemistry while launching his soap business-- I felt elated and proud to have such great friends who are, and always have been, curious.

That is what we are, my community that I grew up with, curious. No ones lost, confused, eccentric-- just curious and brave enough to explore.

And that's why, it ain't so bad coming home. I get to spend the year swapping stories with the other curious souls with whom I started this journey with...

2011-09-20T16:04:00.001-05:00

How do you like my new ride?

It makes me feel like a French girl. Riding around town, going to coffee shops to edit photos. It all makes Chicago all the more quaint.

I had a low light photo gig last night and took a lot of photos which need lots of attention. Low light is hard. I prefer the use of natural light but don't we all. I'd love to intern with someone to up my low light knowledge. If you know of anyone?

Here's some things I have been enjoying:

I have been loving the guitar sounds from this handsome lad from Montenegro.

I am in love with this Tumblr showing all sorts of beautiful outdoor scenes. It even inspired me to look for rustic cabins for sale online today.

And these people are putting on a movie about a couple that forages for mushrooms for a living and I love their site design and can't wait to see the film!

transitioning to life in the midwest and the city

2011-09-18T14:38:00.000-05:00

The fall chill is in the air.

Some days have been sun shiny perfect with a cool breeze. Others have been rainy and dark, demanding that the chunky sweaters be pulled from the boxes down in the basement and a longing for heavy foods like stews, meats and cheeses to put on a few extra pounds for winter survival.

I have been keeping myself busy with trips to the handful of small woods we have in Chicago in search of mushrooms with not much luck.

I wander down in the forest that I grew up playing in on the canal. As a kid who knew nature was where I was happiest, I would spend hours sitting in this little strip of forest watching birds or sit along the banks of the canal looking for turtles.

I don't remember it when I was a kid but now my heart aches as I walk through these small forests for everywhere is litter scattered about. It's no longer an escape from man for his crap has even invaded these old havens.

Nesting has also occurred. This is a new phenomenon to my life. As you know, life has been lived out of bags and boxes for quite a few years now.

In Florida, I was fortunate enough to have a bed that Kiara and Achim bought. Other than that, my room was empty. Well, except for the TV tray I bought at Walmart for $5.

I signed a lease for a studio apartment in Chicago. This is a very big deal. I have two weeks left to move in and wish I could move in tomorrow. In the meantime, I have been going to North Shore garage sales and having a ball chatting with the good midwestern folk.

The plan is to be intentionally minimalist. To take a slight step up from my previous life. Therefore, I have acquired a wool rug from Pakistan and a vintage butterfly chair that I found for $5 dollars. And apparently, apartment therapy thinks they're chic so I am going to attempt to look chic while still maintaining my utter cheapness.

While I was at the bank the other day, I saw an ad on the bulletin board for a guy who sells bikes under $75. How perfect. He lived practically across the street.

I wandered into his garage to find him working away on an old chrome bike. It's not exactly what I was looking for in terms of sport but it was cute and $50. I felt like a character in Prairie Home companion as he was telling me about his life growing up in Evanston, being a Greaser in high school and working at the local hardware store. Turns out he is a professional photographer and had lots of words of wisdom to give me about networking and having a good "book" to show clients.

After spending the last few years in remote locations with only a few people around, I feel like some sort of character on a mythical adventure as any time I set foot out the door, I meet someone interesting and someone of value. I guess these city folk would call it "networking."

My biggest fear about a year in the city is lack of nature yet, I have seemed to find my little spots and activities. Yesterday Danielle took me on a sunset kayak in the Skokie Lagoons. It was awesome. The other recreationers had cleared out for the day and it was just us and the ducks and herons lazily moving along the river.

I think one of the reasons I have been able to live so cheaply is because living in places like Florida or Alaska there is nothing really to spend money on. So, this will be the biggest challenge, saying no to all the social engagements, the drinks out with friends, the millions upon millions of activities to do in the city.

And you know how I adore sharing une bonne bouteille du vin with good friends.

So, if you have any ideas on how to socialize without spending let me know! Game night? Book club? Photo excursions?

I hope to make cross country skiing my winter outdoor activity. We will see if that manifests.

Well, I must sign off for now. Hope you are all well and happy.

xx

PS-- I am going to hang some of my photos and need your help. Tell me which ones you think I should print!! Go to www.laceybediz.com and tell me which are your favorites!

just another reason to love Pilsen

2011-09-16T12:25:00.002-05:00

This image brought back all the good memories of growing up in Chicago. People of all sorts, doing all sorts of random cool things.

Walking back from dinner in Pilsen last night, we could hear the opera music fill the air and this was what was around the corner, on the street.

So, random. Such a nice distraction from the mundane.

lil bro got married

2011-09-14T08:59:00.000-05:00

Congratulations Nick and Karen!!

Indiana

2011-09-13T09:07:00.000-05:00

Now let's get to Indiana.

Growing up, us city folk made fun of Indiana. It's country roads, flat lands, and pasture as far as the eye can see.

I should have just gone there to realize, they were all full of it for there are elements of Indiana that remind me of my beloved France.

It's a place, where people are nice. They remember meeting you months before, strangers acknowledge each others existence.

Manners are not all lost here.

I enjoy my visits, tagging along while J works with farmers. I get to get lost in fields of corn, take pictures of old barns and walk for hours down country roads listening to nothing but crickets and the occasionally truck that passes me by.

I love to walk for hours with no agenda. To search out images as I let go of the thoughts and worries that weigh me down in the city.

Kiara called on one such outing, as I was walking in the fields.

"Oh, wow, edamame!"I said to Kiara, "Such trendy farmers!"

"Uh, Lace. I think that's soybeans."

Oh, these Indiana folks are gonna think I am such a dork.

I think I always secretly wanted to be a hunter (you remember my France stories...) So, hanging out with one is pretty nifty. Especially when you get to eat the goods like the wild turkey or deer sausage we had.

So, I was pretty impressed watching J set up his deer stands. Climbing that tree to set up a perch which he sits upon, still like a statue, all dressed in camouflage until he gets a deer.

He told me that a deer could even notice you blink your eye lids. I had no idea. I had no idea that hunting required such strategy and skill.

If anything, it makes for so awesome pictures and something for all these
DIY/Localvore/artisans/citydwellers to buy at my Etsy shop! Ha!

2011-09-12T08:59:00.000-05:00

2011-09-11T10:35:00.000-05:00

Here's a few more Michigan pictures for you. Isn't that produce just lovely?? The peaches were just divine and oh so juicy.

Last night, my younger step brother got married. I see now why people love weddings as it is the only time in your adult life that you get together with family and friends to let loose and dance the night away.

I can't remember the last time I danced and when Footloose came on-- it was a party on the dance floor. Yes, the love for that song totally ages us. No more clubbing for us, just 80s tunes and weddings.

I want to leave you with a Steve Jobs quote that has been running through my head the last month as it is really hitting home for a girl who wanted to be involved in every opportunity that crossed her path in life:

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.”

Northern Michigan

2011-09-09T12:44:00.000-05:00

I think I was like 12 the last time I was in Michigan. It's funny, for a gal that travels far, I never ventured out of Chicago growing up.

Maybe I would have never seeked out far off mountains, rivers and oceans had I just left the boundaries of the big city.

Michigan was gorgeous. We drove way up North between Traverse City and Manistee. About a 5.5 hour drive from our Indiana start point to G and Ds sail boat up on a little lake connected to Lake Michigan.

Leaving the rush of city life behind, my computer projects and studies and having time to read my book and casually take photos was heaven.

I loved having no agenda and slowly drinking wine throughout the day while we sat around conversing and watching J fish or watching the sail boats race.

The fog and rain where heavy, lulling you so easily asleep inside the cave like cabin on the bow of the boat.

The fog was also a blessing for great shots.

We did pretty well, four of us, in tight quarters. D even cooked us yummy eggs and coffee in the morning on her electric skillet.

Captain G took us for a spin on the lake and those childhood feeling of the serene calm that being out on the water always gave me came back instantly.

I'm now hooked on exploring the midwest while I am here for the year. There's nature out there and this weekend made me realize how important it will be to get out of the city and slow it down every once in a while.

2011-09-08T16:04:00.001-05:00

foggy Northern Michigan

Just returned to the big city from a lovely time in Northern Michigan and Indiana.

It always amazes me how quiet a mind can be in open spaces. I didn't even know I needed a break from the city until I was there peacefully reading in the breeze, not an anxious thought entered my mind...

*** loads of pics to come

2011-08-31T18:35:00.001-05:00

Piedmont Park // Atlanta, Georgia

I just thought I'd post a picture as I sit here listening to the cicadas and the crickets play in symphony.

Do you remember when I brought you home to the midwest, my dear, for your first time? Their sound terrified you, to me they blended in as white noise but you, you grabbed my arm so tight and reminded me of their potency.

Now, every time I hear the cicadas sing, I will never forget bringing that boy home from college. Oh, the intensity of that first infatuation, it seems like only yesterday.

I have to laugh at myself looking back on all the unrequited love of my youth, fueled by long summer days. Just as you thought the day would never end, you thought the love endured too.

2011-08-28T08:45:00.001-05:00

Thanks for the encouraging words, friends! Perhaps, it's my own worries and concerns that has me sensitive to criticism. I am a bit of a worry wort. But, your support brings be back to reality. That it will be all good, no matter, the road is life.

I started a Tumblr and on it I have found this one to keep me in the wild and rustic, even if I am in the big city.

Enjoy the baby Robins, that hatched on my moms porch light! Who needs a TV when you can watch this!!

2011-08-26T14:59:00.000-05:00

It's funny, people and their opinions. People knowing that they are right. Or when people like to squash your goals.

I have been hearing a lot of "Oh, that is hard. That will never work. Why are you going to do that?"

Others opinions matter to me. People have experienced life so differently than I have, I welcome their opinions, to a fault.

But, if anything I have learned by living all over the world and apart of different communities, is that a lot of people are just downers and like to see life through misery goggles. Screw that.

In major transition, I am taking out a loan, moving home to the third largest US city, going to school, getting an apartment all by myself and boy have I heard it from everyone. That I shouldn't live alone, shouldn't take out a loan, shouldn't move to the midwest.

And I say, screw that. Life is meant to be lived, risks are there to take. You either take a chance or you spend your life wondering what would have happened if only you had taken that jump.

So, I found my apartment. It's probably like 450 square feet. You can see the Sears Tower from the window, but you might have to but on your glasses.

I've never lived by myself and am sooo excited. When you have lived out of a bag and slept on couches and in spare rooms for years, nothing is as glamourous as having your own space.

The only way I have been able to travel as long as I have is because I have awesome friends and family who let me stay with them so the money doesn't go to rent but now, screw it, let it go to rent because it's time I had a space that is all mine.

So, in between apartment hunting, there's been great reunions with family and friends and today we went to garage sales up on the North Shore.

Where you can get loads of good stuff from the masses of wealthy up there. I scored a new 100% cashmere sweater for $10 and some killer winter boots (so I won't spend my winter in tears and claiming I have Raynauds)

And...I found a bike path behind my new apartment that takes you all the way to Wisconsin, if you wish. All these little lovely things keep popping up. People may be downers, but there's all sorts of little signs pointing out that it's gonna be all good. Just a new adventure.

2011-08-21T16:51:00.000-05:00

It is said, almost like an old legend, of some sort, that all from this town who where born here shall return.

I thought I was one of the few who wouldn't come back to this Chicago area town and it just sort of snuck up on me and here I am riding bikes around the old hood like I was a kid again.

I forgot how wonderful the midwest was in August. The cicadas strumming, people are out strolling, the gentle breeze off the lake refreshes humid air.

Nothing has seemed to change. The familiarity of the block I grew up on tricks me into thinking I am a kid again, looking for buried artifacts around the forest near the golf course.

I have instant community. Brothers, parents, and friends galore. It's kind of nice to come somewhere and have all these familiar faces so conveniently in my reach.

Like last night at Jessica's house, with her family and Danielle, it was almost if for a second we hadn't all gone off and lead extraordinary lives. For a second, I looked at them laughing and I forgot about all the journeys we've been on and we were just us, friends who found each other in the confusing years of a young girls life and became sisters ready to take on the world.

I guess, as we get older, nostalgia sets in and coming home becomes comfort. It's good to be home...

pilsen • chicago

2011-08-18T20:34:00.002-05:00

Well, I tell you, there is no excuse to feel bored here in Chicago. It's more like overstimulated. But, it's all good. I'm rolling with it.

It's true, I was born and raised a city girl, a midwestern girl but I have been in some pretty amazing, rural spots in the last 15 years.

My first instinct is to buy every gluten free product I see as I am soo used to it being a scarce but low and behold the entire country has gotten the memo since I have been on the road and there is gluten free everywhere. Gas stations, the south side, there's even gluten free beer at Wrigley Field!

So, other than apartment hunting and studying and vasts amounts of stuff to do (Art Institue, fine arts theaters, the symphony, music events...) I know a lot of people here. Family, friends, friends of friends... there will be no time for boredom.

Danielle, my bff since 7th grade, took me out to visit her brother in Pilsen last night. Growing up, Pilsen was the ghetto. Pilsen was a super sketchy south Chicago neighborhood but now, it's super trendy and all the cool kids seems to be migrating there.

I was a little standoffish, as I didn't feel the need to be hip but after one night in Pilsen with Dani's brother who had keys to all the secret courtyards, on a warm summer night, I was hooked.

Pilsen is super cool. Artists lofts everywhere, big old warehouses with huge windows and wooden floors taken over by artisans and these courtyards! I kept telling them I felt like we were on a stage set of a Mid-Summer Nights Dream with the big oak trees and stone benches with little stone statues of saints in the crevices.

Also, we had the best foie gras and duck that I have had outside of France (foie pictured above) at Nightwood. And I have had my fair share of duck and just came out of working for an amazing French chef...so, I think I am a pretty good duck critic.

I don't know where I'll land but I am hoping to find out by Monday! I know I owe a lot of people phone calls and e-mails and promise to get to you all once the dust settles!!

xx

sweet home Chicago

2011-08-14T13:25:00.001-05:00

What a day to fly into Chicago!

I'm super blessed and grateful for my friend who is a pilot and has hooked me up with flights on this whole school finding process. She really helped quell some anxiety of spending hundreds of bucks in this unemployed-about-to-be- a-broke-ass student mental state I am in.

Danielle re-initiated me into city life last night. We went to various events--a literary thing, a going away party at a bar in Wicker Park.

I'm not quite sure how people do this whole bar thing cause I couldn't hear a blasted thing.

But, I was with good people, people from my hometown and talking with Ethan about random happenings in random countries like hanging at a convent in Nepal attempting to meditate made me feel at home even in a loud, smelly bar.

I was looking at Chicago through a new lens last night. I was looking at it as home again after 15 years away. It's going to be a insane adjustment but I have a feeling it's going to be just superb.

xx

boulder, colorado

2011-08-12T09:27:00.001-05:00

Boulder, Colorado has always been a favorite.

Memories of fun times I had with good friends bounced back as I wandered around the European like streets of Boulder.

I say European because all the people are out enjoying the well put together public space, the way groups of friends would gather for a picnic along the Seine or play guitar in the piazza.

I remembered Maddi, Kiara and I staying over at Eric and John's (both naturopaths who studied at Bastyr too)- making agave sweetened mojitos, riding bikes all over Boulder and skinny dipping in the rushing river.

Or how we all knew Boulder was our Mecca because there was a 24 hour market that sold all natural products. You could buy a kombucha and raw chocolate bar at 3 AM if you pleased!

As I walked by every cute restaurant and bar, I remembered Sue (our Seattle roommate, nutritionist, Boulder restauranteur) taking us out to all the hotspots. We ate and drank so well in those days.

I remember meeting my favorite teacher/father figure there and how fun it was to rendez-vous outside of Chicago!

I drove up towards Nederland to sit by the river where the crickets where out in full force.

I pulled of the road at a pretty open spot and there was a young man, standing along the bank of the river, butt naked, only in Boulder.

Boulder has that thing I have been looking for, the blend of technology and nature. I suppose Seattle and San Fran are like that too-- but Boulder really is a small town, smack dab in the foothills. And, it's sunny.

I didn't take too many pictures. Unlike many photographers, I don't always have my camera out. Sometimes, I like to not be on task and just soak up the vibe. So, with my kombucha in tow, that is what I did.

a little bit of Americana for y'all

2011-08-10T12:02:00.000-05:00

I was really impressed with how coordinated these couples were. Made me want to take up line dancing.

the game just gets bigger

2011-08-09T23:29:00.000-05:00

When I was twenty two I met a teacher who talked of how his first goal in life was to be successful and move to Hawaii. Which he did. He was a doctor and bought a beautiful house over looking the ocean but after time, even with the beauty outside his door, he wasn't happy. He wanted more. He left it all to move back to Boston in pursuit of being a teacher.

It took me a long time to understand this until I had just about everything I thought I wanted: lots of free time, living on the beach, a job I liked but something happens to us when we aren't pursuing things, when we aren't being pushed. Dissatisfaction takes hold and we know we have more inside us; more to give, more to produce, more to learn, more to grow...

I never thought I would settle down for more than a few months, I never thought I'd move back to the midwest or a city or where it is cold but after being challenged in a million ways on the road and finding great satisfaction in a slow, beach life, I found myself in the same shoes as that teacher, wanting to grow more and be of more value.

I understand why some retired people crack. Suddenly, they no longer have to pursue meaning and maybe life is all about the struggle to do something; make a difference, influence people, teach, create, push through your own insecurities so you can experience life on a whole new level.

It's hard to travel for some but it's easy for me. In fact, I haven't stopped traveling because it is hard to settle down, to pay rent, to have to buy a bed and dishes and a blender. It is way easy living out of a bag.

I am moving back to the city I grew up in, taking out a loan to go to school, enduring no nature and the freezing cold winter. I'm going to have to buy boots, a winter jacket, a bed, lamps. I'm going to have to give up the freedom that no debt and lease free leaving affords me and....I'm so freaking excited!

I get to spend a year in one place. I get to spend a year learning. I get to be near my family and best friends. I get to hang out at coffee shops and take the train to yoga classes. I get to hang my art at the art walk. I can go to the symphony! I can go dancing! All the things I have missed out on living rural and remote.

The road still is life, no doubt. Sometimes it's riding camels in the Sahara desert and sometimes it's a wooden floored studio and a macbook in the third largest city in the US. It's all a journey...

7 Links

2011-08-05T20:29:00.004-05:00

I think I have been nominated only once before to do one of those fun blog activities that bloggers frequently participate in and my friend Andi over at her fabulous web site, Misadventures with Andi, nominated me to join in the fun in 7 links, in which you big the 7 links as follows:

My most beautiful post:

In Prayer was something so vulnerable and real to me. In my adult life, I have found the meaning and value in prayer and wrote about it here.

My most popular post:

By far the post I wrote about proper cheese course etiquette some three years ago gets a tons of views daily. I went from being a clueless American in so many ways of etiquette to well informed in my times spent living in France.

My most controversial post:

I have a ton of vegetarian friends and even meat lovers who are aghast at how the French stuff corn down ducks throats to fatten up their liver so when I posted about our week long foie gras and duck confit making in France, I had some unhappy campers reading along.

My most helpful post:

I wrote my How I Travel post five years ago! People are always asking me how I have spent 8 years on the road and I ask them how they can afford to live here. I have had quite a few people read this post and then buy a plane ticket and follow their dreams!

A post thats success surprised me:

I was surprised how this post about Mr. Fisher was forwarded around. It appears this old mans story touched more than just myself.

A post I didn't think got the attention it deserved:

While working at the winery in Napa my friend, Vic and I went on a tasting search to find more European style wines rather than the big Napa Cabs. I compiled a lovely best of list and was sure it would be stumbled upon often by others who were searching for these kinds of wines in Napa Valley. Read it, it's good!

The post I'm most proud of:

I don't know if I'd says proud but I adore this Alaska post.

And here's some lovelies to tag:

North Country Gentleman

Lila Braga

Where's Marnie

getting outdoors

2011-08-03T20:52:00.001-05:00

With the addition of a new computer (yea! Mac!), new programs (yea! Creative Suite!) and working on getting school-ready, image might just be taking over for word.

I have been so focused on teaching myself all these programs (CS5 and a new operating system) and learning to code that my brain feels like mush by the end of the day. And I love it. I'm so excited to be learning something I have a natural affinity for!

But, today, I knew I had to get outside for fear my muscles might atrophy and I know (but often forget!) that I will be more productive if I go have some solace in nature.

I went to Wildlife Refuge and had the plains, grasses, deer, birds, grasshoppers, butterflies and praire dogs all to myself.

I came back and felt like I had been at the spa all day. Heaven.

And I got some pretty pics too!

xx

tiny houses

2011-07-31T18:22:00.003-05:00

We came to the mountains of Colorado often as a kid. About two days after visits in Denver with my grandmother, I would grow restless in anticipation to get up to the mountains, we would head on what seemed like the longest ride ever to Vail.

I remember vividly, staring at all the miners cabins perched up on the mountain side in awe and desire. I always longed to have one of my very own. I still do today.

I have a few girlfriends around the world who share the same sentiment (New Zealand, Germany, Alaska) and one of them just sent me these link that I am in love with: The Tiny House Blog.

So, as I'm creating my future, I am planning for one of these. I think if it were a few years ago, I would have gone for traditional log cabin style but the minimalist in me is falling in love with modern designs and I would very much like to purchase one of these. That's all I need. Then, I'll have to find the perfect plot of land to plop it on. Maybe Vermont, or France, Montana, North Carolina, Alaska, California...

What would be your dream home?

2011-07-31T08:25:00.002-05:00

Did I say I was going to move to a city? I was already having a panic attack over that one and then I saw the movie Buck yesterday, a documentary about the real cowboy who was the inspiration behind the Horse Whisperer.

When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was ride horses and be in the mountains and seeing this movie reminded me of the immense peace, healing and satisfaction one gets when living close to the land and such beautiful, sensitive and intuitive animals such as horses.

I'll get there, apres city-life.

But, do go see this movie, you'll love it: Buck

2011-07-30T09:51:00.005-05:00

Good morning friends! How have you been? Is summer (or winter for you all in the Southern Hemisphere) treating you well?

It's been years since I have experienced the true heat of summer for my summers in coastal Alaska, central France and the northern mountains of Spain were far from hot. I always thought I missed the heat, that I adore it but experiencing this true heat has me craving a change of seasons.

Lucky me because I am narrowing down a move to either Chicago or Atlanta and there will be seasons! Can we say apple picking?

I have never lived by myself and (so far) that is the plan and I'm super excited. I am getting apartment inspiration here and anticipating fall colors here!

I am missing the mountain scenes like these shots taking in Frisco, CO but I should be back in a few weeks and the land will be full of mushrooms!

cool links to share and Colorado pics

2011-07-28T08:57:00.004-05:00

{This old wooden water tower makes me think of Kerouac up there on desolation peak}

{mom}

{my standby uniform for the great outdoors}

{i love this photo, taken in a small farming town near South Park, Colorado}

Here's a list of some cool stuff that has crossed my path:

Kinfolk Magazine

Borrow Lenses - a place where you can rent lenses to try them out!

I love the companies, like this one, coming out of Brooklyn.

I have issue with unreadable blogs. I want to read their content but if it's hot pink text on a black background, it's not worth the headache. Check these guys who are starting a revolution on unreadable text!

Enjoy xx

some of my favorite photos from the mountains

2011-07-24T23:00:00.000-05:00

These are my favorite shots from last week spent in the mountains. We drove over a pass and in search of pasture as my favorite subject is farm life but just as we arrived, the rain came. Every shot was rushed and hurried as to not get wet but it was all worth it just to capture these colors.

I think I have finally been broken of my curse of going to places and having the luck to be there in the "worst weather in..." Finally, I am not arriving to the worst weather locations anymore and am now in the best weather. While the rest of the USA was in a heat wave, I was content with brisk mountain air.

We hiked every single day. We kayaked. We grilled, ate dinner and drank some Loire red in a thunderstorm. We had daily mountain top lunch picnics (I wrapped everything in nori-- cured ham, basque cheese and olive spread in seaweed...only me). We went to outdoor concerts in the setting sun. I found and ate mushrooms (boletes). And made tea from gathered clover and wild chamomile. I read and wrote. I daydreamed. I took pictures.

I can't wait to go back.

mountain love

2011-07-23T16:54:00.000-05:00

The trail is found via iPhone goodness. We navigate, twistand turn up gravel roads, arriving at a destination that is just another one ofthose spots that could be “the top of the world.” Gorgeous.

I breathe deep. The air is cold and crisp, the view is infiniteand alluring. A want comes over me, a want to be consumed by this place,swallowed whole.

I practically run up the mountain. I have always beeninvigorated by mountains and movement ever since I was a little girl. In themountains, I am a new me, the real me. It feels like the weight of the worldhas been lifted off my shoulders and I am light on my feet.

Wild flower colors of yellow, red, purple, white, magentaspeckle the landscape. Water cascades down the mountain with great force. Therewas a lot of snow this winter and spring and now it’s pushing its way down themountain and can be heard with each step pulling you into meditation.

We take time to stop. This is something new too me. Old age,a broken foot and a camera have helped slow my need to go full speed up themountain without stopping. I was obsessed with the work out when I was younger,with pushing myself hard and pushing stressful thoughts out of my head and nowit seems I have learned to stop and smell the roses a bit. This is a goodpractice and I need not forget to practice it more. Be present. Slow down. Lovelife. Take pictures. Watch birds. Smell flowers. Stay longer. Breathe deep.

technology & nature & mushroom foraging

2011-07-21T15:53:00.003-05:00

1. Spruce Creek trail, followed the water fall the whole way up! 2. invincible in my hiking boots 3. not the mushrooms I ate 4.the view

1. dew 2. h2o levels are extraordinarily high right now 3. mist 4. one tree down by those retched beetles

"Your so much more content out here," Ma says.

It's true. I love nature. I need it. And I am not quite sure why I don't have my own little rustic cabin somewhere, but I'm working on that. It's all in the blending-technology&nature plan.

My favorite hiking to do is to get well above tree line, where you can see everything and the pressure on your lungs is so intense you have to move like you are walking through water.

I have had the best luck finding trails this year too, all thanks to my iPhone and the Trails.com app!

And I also have a variety of mushrooms identification apps and am on the Colorado Mushrooms Facebook page. How cool is it to take a picture of a mushroom I find and post it to their wall to start an identification discussion?!?

Like I said, technology and nature can go hand and hand.

I found some boletes (cep/porcini) and some oysters mushrooms and now I have foraged for mushrooms in France, Spain, Alaska, Illinois, Washington, California, Canada, Georgia and Colorado!

I also love when I don't have a signal, which is 90% of the time, so I can be fully present with the outdoors and find some edibles!

2011-07-20T17:49:00.000-05:00

"Happy. Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild-haired, in the red fire dark, singing, swigging wine, spitting, jumping, running--that's the way to live."- The Dharma Bums

Mountains of Colorado

2011-07-19T15:59:00.000-05:00

This was my complete happiness as a child. Going to the mountains of Colorado.

We went twice a year, winter and summer.

The drive to Vail seemed endless and nothing could quell my excitement.

I would spend hours walking along side the river. My brother and I would seek the thrill of skipping a top of rocks to cross to the other side.

I'd get lost in the mountain meadows of vibrant wildflowers and love to seek shelter in a cozy cabin when it stormed.

For Chicagoans, this is church. If you know what I mean, I don't think I am the only one who found my true self in the crisp mountain air.

While the rest of the nation is in a heat wave, I feel blessed to be here where my heart sings!

xxx

Why you should stop resisting Twitter (and social media). Cuz You get hooked up!

2011-07-17T09:03:00.000-05:00

I have to tell you about the joys of social media (twitter, facebook, google+, blogs, etc...)

Often my loved ones and hippie friends complain that I spend too much time on my iPhone/computer and while I agree, it totally takes you out of the present moment and you live in this little orbit between you and your machine, it has it's benefits like the other day...

I was flying from Chicago to Denver. The airline had no notifications that the night before, the planes had been damaged by hail. So, essentially, they knew there would be problems and failed to alert their flyers.

I did the 2 hour trek to Midway in south Chicago, got through security and when I got to my gate, I saw the flight was cancelled.

With no one at the gate, I had to exit security and go to the check in counter to try and get on another flight.

The line was huge. There was one ticket agent and one employee in reflective gear (pulled in from the back).

As I stood in the slow going line, I attempted to call the airline to change my flight and all I got was a busy signal.

All us passengers were uninformed and pissed.

So, I tweeted about it.

They instantly tweeted back telling me about the hail. Then 5 minutes later, another employee in reflective gear came from the back and started to personally tell everyone what the problem was.

When I got to the ticket agent, the one in reflective gear, she started telling me she could get me on another airline which flew out of O'hare, a different airport far, far away.

Then she typed in my name. "Oh, someone already started working on you."

She handed me a ticket for the next flight out. When I inquired how she got me on their airline she told me they got me in the emergency row (highly coveted seats for the extra leg room) and to not tell any of the other passengers I got on and got a special seat because they are telling everyone else there are no seats left and that they had to go to O'hare.

Now, a regular agent, trained in customer service, would never tell you that but this chick was just pulled from the back.

So, basically, tweeting hooked me up! I surpassed the ticket agents, the agents on the phone, I basically skipped to the front of the line because of Twitter.

When I tell all of those friends who complain about my computer habit, they are astonished and immediately ask how to get on Twitter.

This is the sign of the times, everything is connected and everyone is communicating. You don't have to jump on board, but you might be left in the dust or left with out a seat on the plane!

technology, nature, simplicity

2011-07-15T23:35:00.001-05:00

I have a deep love for a few things that I always assumed were contradictory to one another. It always seemed they were unable to co-exist and I was forced to decide between them.

I'm talking about technology. I'm talking about all things natural: the outdoors, simplicity, and the rustic.

I've always loved both. Computers were never an enigma to me and since I was a kid, I could happily spend hours working on them, creating with them and figuring things out.

In high school, I rocked the computer lab. I was the only girl in there and I new my stuff.

My mom found this "autobiography" the other day that I had written in high school. The assignment was to write it as if you were all grown up looking back. I wrote about how I lived in a rustic house in the mountains and on a lake but that was hooked up with all the best technology and that I would travel the world taking pictures of remote places. I knew myself right on point, if only I had known I knew!

As I approached adulthood, I got it in my head that if I wanted to live in harmony with nature, I had to abandon technology because technology was the opposite of nature. I forced myself to choose and I choice nature.

And loved it.

I've never liked TV or loud stereos, still don't. I loved living in France and building fires or living in cabins in Alaska with no toilets. But, wherever I went, I longed for the computer, for the camera. It was a part of me that needed to be nurtured just as much as the naturalist/purist in me.

I'm coming back. And I have a vision of blending nature, simplicity and technology. Simple designs and apps, drawing from nature. Using technology to be with nature (i.e, trail guides on the iphone), to create memories and share and inspire (social media). And all the stuff that I don't even know is out there...I'm ready to discover it all again.

It's a whole new realm and I don't have words yet to describe it but in todays world it is about creation.

And that can be creating a world where you can live in a yurt in Alaska while still being able to talk to your family in Istanbul via Skype.

It doesn't have to be either- or and I find this very{ i-can't-sleep-at-night }exciting.

Sweet summer time Chicago

2011-07-12T09:57:00.000-05:00

Chicago kicks ass in the summer.

It's like a million times better than the rest of the year.

People everywhere. Families having picnics and parties by the beach. Fresh produce everywhere. Street festivals and cute outfits. Smiling faces. Every step I take brings back a childhood memory.

Especially the farmers market, the sound of the cicadas strum at sunset, the air so thick it fills your cells with water and slows you down to a snails pace.

We had a storm yesterday at 8 AM. It lasted 15 minutes and knocked out the power for over 24 hours. Massive trees are down everywhere. I loved these storms as a kid when the power would go out and the entire family was locked away inside with nothing to do but sit around by candle light. The world would slow down and fade into the realm of simplicity, the family would reconnect and nature would remind us that it is not man who is in charge.

Sweet, summer time in the Midwest. My favorite time here. Off to the mountains later this week. Yippie!

Some links to things I like or find useful

2011-07-11T10:47:00.003-05:00

Here's a couple more shots from Atlanta that I liked.

I liked Atlanta. A lot. I was there checking out portfolio schools and their programs in design, web development and photography and basically I am thrilled about what I saw. I felt like I was with my people. You know, the types who go to the book store and grab a stack of magazines to admire images and layout?

I have been wanting to share a list of cool and/or helpful things on the internet for you. As I have learned recently that a lot of you reading don't know about certain basic things that I use on a daily basis that I find rather helpful.

1. If you are reading this blog, chances are your reading a lot of blogs and if your not on Google Reader, stop what you are doing and sign up. It is like checking your e-mail for blogs. You add all the blogs you are following and whenever a blogger posts a new post, it shows up in reader the way a new e-mail shows up in your in box. That way, you don't have to go check my (and others) blogs every day to see if their was a new post. You'll love it.

2. I am in love with Instagram and I want you all to be on it so I can follow you and see your world. Instagram is like Twitter with pictures. You take pics with your phone, put cool filters on them, and then post them to a feed. A lot of people use their fancy pants camera and transfer photos up but I am a fan of the iPhone-only club as it is a mobile app and I love the challenge of creating an awesome image only with your phone. Here is my stream via a site that lets you view it on the computer as opposed to your mobile.

3. Have you heard of the Get Around? It's a cool new service that is like flex car. You can rent your car out or rent someone elses car like someone's Mini Copper for $5.50 and hour!

4. I just learned about Lynda.com which gives you great tutorials on how to use Photoshop or learn web development, etc.

5. The last nice thing I have come across is this list of top 5 all time Ted Talks. I love me some Ted Talks!